they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Everclear isn't food dammit
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
FUCK WHALES
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
