I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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