Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
