I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
