Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
pray to the hookup gods
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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