Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize
