fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Randomize
