i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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