plz talk dirty to me
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
