So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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