do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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