im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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