so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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