i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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