just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
