I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
