You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
