He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
