do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
So much rum. So many feels.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
