the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
