the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
