if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
