so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
