Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
