'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I forgot how hot balto sounded
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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