whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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