alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
