It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
