All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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