I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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