i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
