ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
