I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
