I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
