Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
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So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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