If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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