i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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