And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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