I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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