so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just found puke in my bra..
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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