is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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