this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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