he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
So here I am, sexting at work.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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