Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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