You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
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It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
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I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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