I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
