can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
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Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
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I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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