I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
