She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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