I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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