just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
