i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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