Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
