I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
