tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
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do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
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I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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