Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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