dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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