so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I could make wine with my vomit
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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