38 yer olds are good kisserssss
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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